Self Care – Selfish or Selfless?

There are times when clients come in and express a feeling of guilt about having a massage.  I have observed that those that feel the most guilt for “indulging” in self-care, are often the people who need treatment most.  Most of the time, Massage Therapy seekers  are receiving treatment for real reasons that have nothing to do with self-indulgence.  Often people are riddled with pain, or their stress levels are so high, that they need some relief from those symptoms.  Somewhere along the line, somebody has told them that massage can only be viewed as a luxury.  That they’re spoiling themselves, and that they on some level should feel guilty for senseless splurging.

So, today, I want to write about self-care.  I want to write about self-care, not in the sentiment of a L’Oréal’s commercial ‘because I’m worth it’ mentality, this is more about an actual acknowledgement of our human need for nurturing.  I want to do my part in myth busting this attitude toward a Massage treatment as  something you do because you are splurging, or spoiling yourself.  It is my honest belief that self-care,  is a form selflessness.  Let me elaborate, we live in a community filled with caregivers.  As a caregiver we give so much of our energy away in devotion to the care of other individual(s).  Caregivers come in many different forms, we  might be a caregiver to our boss; our child; our mother;  or maybe all of the above.  I have met so many caregivers who have given all that they had to give, and burned themselves out.  Once giving away all their energy stores to give to the person who they are caring for, often resulted in even greater guilt because they could no longer offer their best version of themselves.

In my quest to do some readings about the validity of self-care, I came across this list written by R. Trudeau.  It eloquently describes the reasons that self-care is so important for us to be the best version of ourselves to offer up to others.

1. “We feel more generous and can avoid building resentments toward others who demand our energy and time.
2. We validate and honor our own worth, which in turn enhances true confidence and self-esteem.
3. We feel alive and whole, so we are able to function at our best and do all the things we want to do.
4. We renew and restore our energy and create energy reserves so we’re able to weather unforeseen challenges more easily.

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5. We feel more loving and gentle toward ourselves, which helps us to be more present and calm and to respond wisely, intuitively, and effectively in any circumstance.
6. We own our personal power and begin to realize our potential; the more self-accepting we become, the more self-assured we are.
7. We feel more loving and playful, which makes us better friends, partners, and parents and more fun to be around!
8. We experience heightened well-being and vitality.”

So, go to your next massage with your head held high, by taking care of yourself, you can take better care of other people in your life.  You are not selfish.  Repeat it, you are not selfish.

References:

Nurturing the Soul of Your Family: 10 Ways to Reconnect and Find Peace in Everyday Life Paperback – February 19, 2013

by Renee Peterson Trudeau